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Birth Day

I was born 36 years ago today in a little white farmhouse in New Paltz, New York. 1:07 am, 3 siblings asleep down the hall, ducks and chickens asleep outside in the cool April spring morning.  I was going to be named Bryce or Brio if I was a boy. But instead I was named Brindl.

Birthdays for me have become this day to take stock of my life. My personal state of the union. Where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. I had a ritual for years of taking the ferry into San Fransisco and wandering around by myself with a journal and a camera. This year I am home writing and cleaning and listening to old songs I have written. In hindsight I can always see how there is a rhyme and reason to everything; a perfect unfolding to the events that have shaped my heart and my life. I wish in those hard moments of resistance to change and what fees like such crushing disappointment I could remember all the while things are falling into place as they should.

4 years ago on my birthday I wrote this song, its working title was “Birthday Song” but later got changed to “Love’s Great Fan.”

The last line is: “I’ll remember this as love’s great plan, if you remember me as love’s great fan.” This is my birthday wish. To want what I have rather than what I want and to trust I am living Love’s great plan….


“Love’s Great Fan” April 13, 2008, CD release of “Acoustic Heart” at Peri’s in Fairfax, CA with  the wonderful Joey Midnight playing guitar.

lyrics:
i was born in the north part of New York state
smile on my face and a brand new slate
the name that was given was made for living all out

there were three before me and then one more
she loved that man liked she loved them all
but if all you needed was love to keep it
then why do people get up and leave it?

wasn’t long before we left that place
to California’s warm embrace
for milder seasons and all the reasons she gave
all the parties all the pictures all the burned out birthday wishes
but all that’s left now is forgiveness

on my way to learning higher
to educate my heart and now
i understand that sometimes how
love can turn you inside out
when he left in such a hurry the ending to his short lived story
and even though I don’t know why
i let it be his sweetest goodbye
goodbye, goodbye

when I’m old and  tired and gray
same smile on my face but a different day
i’ll remember this as love’s great plan
if you remember me as love’s great fan

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